Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to live anxiety free. I don’t mean clinical anxiety, but just that type-A, goody-two-shoes, teacher-mom, lifelong introvert anxiety that surrounds the things I do. To live in that kind of Namaste, you-do-you world that the ladies on the front of Self magazine seem to have embraced.

Today, little N had a birthday party to go to, the first party for a classmate he’s been invited to. A short catalog of my anxieties:

– Will I have to have a birthday party for Little N? Who will I invite?
– Are lots of kids having birthday parties, and is this just the first one N is invited to?

– Are other kids having lots of play dates?

– Is it my fault that N doesn’t have play dates and get invited to birthday parties?

– Is the book I bought for the book exchange something all the kids will like?
– Is the wrapping paper good enough? Is it too “boy”?

– Is N going to stand out like a sore thumb as the only boy in the room?

– Is it OK for little N to change in the women’s room with me, when most of the party attendants, his classmates, are girls?
– Is my bathing suit the right kind of bathing suit? Too cheap? Too revealing? Too big?

– What will the other parents think of me?

– How is it going to work? Are we going to swim first? Are we going to party first?

– What if N has a meltdown over something? What if he doesn’t want to play with the other kids?

– When is N going to take his nap?

– What if N can tell I’m worrying about the party?


No wonder I’m always tired!



3 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. It IS too much sometimes isn’t it!?! I spent many moments with this kind of anxiety so I truly understand. You know what I have discovered? Most of it doesn’t really matter that much. I say blah blah blah and answer myself SO WHAT if blah blah blah. This little reality check lets me move on. It has helped me!

  2. How about: Should I be a little early? Or maybe a little late? I don’t want to be the first one, but I also don’t want to be the last one…the anxiety is real. But when it’s written down, it’s kinda funny.

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